"Hey guys, I'm Amber, and this is a tropical land lubber challenge. I'm a Romance Scorpio. I know! You're all like 'wut'? But for reals. I don't get it either. Anyway! The Queen Mother already completed the regular land lubber challenge with my sister Beryl, but moved her out of the lot before she made a slideshow of it! I know! What a noob! Hahahaha!" -grumble grumble-
(So I guess I have to write this again. I don't know where any of the landlubber lots are, or the rules for the challenge, so I'm totally winging this. Beryl plantsimmed in the last challenge, but she did 'complete' it. Again, I can only guess, because the rules for this challenge are lost in cybernetic oblivion.) Amber: You filthy, thieving undead ghoul! That's MY invisable paper!
(Neither of these sims are CAS, but before I put them on their challenge lots I stripped them of their skills. Pretty sure that makes us squaresies. No, they didn't have any badges either. They were a part of an apoca-borg challenge. They had a crappy, single-minded existance. Surviving the apocalypse. These are Amber's digs by the way. Not too shabby, right?)
Amber: Shut up, already. This is MY challenge. And don't think I didn't see what you did for Beryl's challenge. You didn't even let the girl talk! (Hey! Respect your Queen Mother, you ungrateful whelp! Also, don't look at me like that. I'm not used to giving my sims voices.) :I
Amber: Augh! She's such a newbkin. Why did she have to pick three challenges when she doesn't even know where the rules are? ... No, Lemon Meringue, she's not MY mother. She's the Queen Mother. You know, like Birth Queen of the Aliens. ... It's not that gross. How else do you expect her to pump out all those abductors? Lots-o-worlds out there, you know.
Amber: Oh my squash! (Get it? Instead of 'oh my gosh'? A hyuck hyuck.) Amber: Well now you just ruined it for everyone. And my bass is burning! (I want everyone to know how clever I am!)
Amber: Hey, look, I know you probably aren't into clams, but I'm a romance sim and the Queen Mother thinks I should ACT like one, so you maybe wanna go on a date with- ...
Amber: Hey, who's this guy? Someone you know? Why is he crying? Some Chick: Oh, he's my boyfriend. (I didn't know townies had girlfriends. I really didn't. And why is he here?! Is he stalking his lady?!)
Some Dude: You! How dare you! I've been faithful to you in this digital WONDERLAND of available ladies and y-y-you just- AUGH! I can't even look at you! Amber: So uhh? Look, I was just trying to fulfill my masters wishes, I didn't mean nothing by it, you can totally have her!
Amber: Aw, you hit him. Now he's never going to take you back. Some Chick: Boy, you don't OWN me! Look at you! I can do WAY better than some dinky, no spine nerd like you! In fact, get the hell out of here, you insecure stalker! What, you don't think I noticed? I mean, really. You wear the same shirt EVERY DAY! (So does she.)
Amber: Really? You want me to try again? You don't think she's had enough maybe? ... I mean, heck, if you think she can handle it. Trah la la!
Amber: Woof! You stink. But that was totally cool how you were just struck by lightning and lost bladder control. Can you do it again?
Some Chick: Help me. Amber: Oh. My. Squash. You didn't do that on purpose!? That was totally amazing! Hey, are you okay? Wait, so are you not going to clean up your mess, or?
Death: Let's see, Barthelet, Barthelet. Amber: Holy carp, my first date ever and my date freakin' dies! I am the worst Romance sim! Death: Don't be so dramatic. She got hit by lightning, it's like a billion to one chances. Wait, you said you were on a date with her? ... Hot. Amber: I'm never dating again!
Amber: Ugh, I guess I will have mop up after her. So you do this for a living? I mean, uhh... Dying? Death: What, collecting souls and ushering them into heaven? You think I get paid for this gig? I mean, don't get me wrong, that would be nice. Anyway, I'm outies. Later, hippie. Amber: I'm not a hippie! (Aren't you?)
Amber: Wow, man. That's like, totally mind blowing. Actually KNOWING there's an afterlife. (You met two angels when you got to this lot!) Amber: I know, but, actually SEEING it happen right in front of you. Pretty wild, man. (Hippie.) Amber: I'M NOT A HIPPIE!
Amber: Hurblech. Ugh. I think this fish is making me sick. (But it's all sparkly still. It shouldn't be making you sick.) Amber: I don't feel so well. (You're sunburnt! Drink some water!)
Amber: No, Beryl, I'm not a plantsim yet. Do I have to be one to do this challenge? I mean, is it written in the stars or something? ... Yes, I'm tending to my garden! Well, actually it looks more like a localised jungle. ... No, just lemon trees. I killed the tomato plant as soon as I got the gold badge. ... Yes, killed it. Oh, sorry! Forgot you were a plantsim now. Look, um, I'm going to go do some fishing. Starting to get hungry again. Which is weird, because I like just ate.
Amber: Hurray, another bass. I should really learn how to cook the other kinds of fish already.
Amber: But I don't want to become a plantsim like my sister, Lemon Tart. That's just so lame. ... Well, of course you like being a plant, it's all you know. But I like being a meaty flesh bag. Wanna know why? It's all I know. ... Don't get snarky with me, young lady. Besides, it's not that gross. You just think so because you're an emmaculate tree. Just wait until you blossom and want bees to come pollinate your- ... I'm not talking dirty! That's how it's done!
Amber: What the heck? I just got fat. Man, I'm still hungry. (What the heck?! How'd you get pregnate!?) Amber: I'm pregnant!?!?!
Amber: Yes. Definitely pregnant. Unless I just REALLY let myself go. (Nope, you're pregnate. You have to be careful now, alright? Lots of water.) Amber: Shut up. What are you, my mom? (... Eff you, Amber.)
Some Chick: So, let me get this squaresies, miss thing. The DAY you met me, you got me dumped by my boyfriend AND killed. Amber: It's not all about you, you know. Somehow I~ got pregnant from the ordeal! Some Chick: Do NOT tell me you slept with my boyfriend after you killed me! Amber: Ew, gross! No!
Amber: So, uhh, I'm all red again. (Huh?) Amber: Would you pay attention to me? I'm hot and pregnant! (Don't talk like that to me, I don't dig the ladies, okay-... Hey, you're red.) @_@
(Emergency! Emergency! Pregnant lady down! Wee-ooo wee-ooo! Need an ambulance!)
(Or lemonade, as it turns out.) Amber: Ugh, shut up and call an ambulance! (I tried that when you had heat stroke. Don't think you'll have much luck.) Amber: What kind of carp game is this?!
Amber: Nyawl, so cute when they're little like this. (We have to forsake the challenge.) Amber: What? Why? (Can't have a baby on a shelterless lot. Unless you'd rather have the social worker come and take her away. What are you going to name her? Oh, wait, who's the dad, anyway?)
Amber: You remember that guy who came and collected the soul of that lady who died on my property? (... You mean Death?) Amber: I didn't catch his name. (He was here for like five seconds!)
Amber: I think I'll call her Nephthys. (Nephthys... Can't cut that down, I guess. It's already only two syllables.) Amber: ... Neph-thistle? (Do you even know what syllable means?!)
Amber: So is this cheating? I mean, it's not like I planned on having a baby. The walls are only there for her, they don't benefit me at all. (Mmm, I don't know. I'll say I failed. But we'll see how long we can get away with this. Hows that sound?) Amber: Fine, I guess.
Amber: Awwwww! I'm a plant sim! (I'm sorry.) Amber: Can we call it quits now? This sucks! (Okay. Want me to phone up the gypsy?) Amber: I don't even know if I have enough money for her.
Amber: No, I don't want a date, I want a potion. Can you tell me how much that costs, or? ... Fine, come over. Just don't tell anyone you're coming to MY place, kay? ... What do you mean it costs extra?! Like you were gunna tell anyone anyway! ... Just get over here!
Amber: Money-grubbing old bitty. Gypsy: Girl, do you want my help or do you want to incure my mighty wrath? Amber: I want a potion. Gypsy: Well, I gots plenty. Love potions, vampire potions, werewolf potions- Amber: Woman are you blind as well as batty!? I'm a plant! I want a PLANT potion!
Gypsy: Let's see, $10 for the potion, $30 for to keep my secrets, $20 for your sass mouth. That'll be sixty bucks, youngun. Amber: It's purple. Gypsy: Course, it's purple. It's a potion. What'dya expect? Green? Amber: I did, kind of, yeah. Wait, sixty bucks?! Squash, just screw me over already.
Gypsy: Ungrateful little whelp. (Tell me about it.) Amber: Greedy old hag. This potion better work.
Amber: Wait I thought this was purple. Why am I glowing orange?!
(Is this for real or are you just being dramatic?) Amber: I'm milking it a little. ... Sue me!
Amber: Wooo! Oh squash, now I look like that nature woman. (Ha! you totally do!)
(Guess I shouldn't have sold everything when you turned into a plantsim, huh?) Amber: Ya think!? How am I going to feed my baby!? (You said you were calling it quits. I could motherlode you and set you up real nice in one of the legacy houses.) Amber: My eye, I know what those places are like. Posh, sure, but tombstones EVERYWHERE.
(Because you totally don't have a gravestone on your property.) >_> Amber: ... That was your fault! (How was it my fault?! She was struck by LIGHTNING! I can't plan that!) Amber: Oh, right. Well, I can't leave here until you do that thing. With the slideshow. Noob. (Hm. Mature. Speaking of babies.)
Nephthys: Bam! I'm here, ladies! What~ (Gemini, 7-9-10-6-3.) -rubs eyes- (No, I'm sure you'll be great, kiddo.)
Amber: Look, you little spawn of Death, you got your silly smart milk of amazing. I know you can say teddy bear, so say freaking TEDDY BEAR ALREADY! (Maybe if you were a plantsim you'd have the patience to be a mother.) Amber: I ain't gunna be no plantsim!
Amber: ... Don't you say a word. (...)
Amber: No, I'm not going to face you, you little abomination! Mommie's upset she got turned into a plantsim again. She's got to brood and write about it in her diary. Nephthys: Om nom nom. Rawr! Iwa bear! Amber: Iwa. Whatever, she can say bear now, I'm happy.
Nephthys: Hey Birthing queen! Look! Look! It's my birthday! (Yes, yes. That's nice. Wait, what did you call me?! It's QUEEN MOTHER! Not Birthing queen!)
(So for to accomodate for Nephthys' soft fleshy child flesh we built her an actual jungle hut. Look at all teh trees!) Amber: Yay. Amazing. Hey, so when are we going to call that gypsy over to make me not a plant anymore? (Hey, I'm quite proud of this hut! And I don't know, how about when you grow up a little? Humph!)
Amber: You hear that, kid? Le Queen Mother of Suck won't let me be a flesh bag again! After all I did for her! Nephthys: Oh, yeah? Like what? You broke the rules and got pregnant in the second season. Amber: We don't even know if that's against the rules! Don't be a smart bass to your mother, just do your homework.
Child: Hey! Don't try beam me in the head with these baseballs! They hurt! Nephthys: What, you can't take it? Man up, little girl. (That's scary in an adorable way.) :D
Scary Alien Vampire: Hey! The Queen Mother bought that telescope for your daughter, not you! Amber: What? That's carp! I'll use the dang telescope if I wantsta! Scary Alien Vampire: No. You. Won't. (And she didnt... after the third time Rhea caught her. Hehe. She's my enforcer. Wewt! Heart Rhea!)
Amber: Hey look, is it fall or something? This is awesome. (You're old now, Amber.) Amber: Am I? Huh. Is that why I feel so euphoric? (I couldn't say. Welp, I did promise you I'd make you meaty again when you got older. Ja'mon, old bitty.)
Gypsy: I sense a great wisdom in you that was not there before. Amber: Yeah, I'm old now. So anyway, you see my problem, can I get two extra in case this happens again? Gypsy: Sure. Unfortunately $60 is the base value of these potions. I was just being a &*$^% when I said I tacked on $20 for your sass mouth.
Amber: Perdah! I'm human again! (Hey look, we finally got through all four season, too.) Amber: Cool, we can say goodbye now, right? (Not going to miss me, huh?) Amber: Meh, you got other challenges to do.
Amber: Besides, I have my own things to focus on now. :3 (Nyawl, that's adorable. Catch you two later.)
Challenge Two: Fail.